why?

You know, there's something heartbreaking about reading back through old blogs from 3 years ago and realising that you were stronger in your faith then than you are now.

What's happened since then? Why does it feel like I've taken a million steps back instead of a million steps forward?

I'm not satisfied with living my life as it is now. I can't stand the lukewarm-ness and the mediocrity and I can't stand having faith without the heart-on-fire passion that should go hand in hand with being saved by grace.

Why is it so hard to give my all to the Man who gave His life for me?

God, help me to make the decisions I need to make in order to be one with YOU. I'm sick and tired of living with one foot on Your side and one foot on the world's side. Help me to say no to temptation that is thrown my way..help me to live IN You. THANK YOU for saving me. I just honestly cannot comprehend why anybody would want to save me. You know what I've done and what I will do, and yet You still love me and really really desire a relationship with me?! That's nuts God. You're crazy.. haha :) seriously though God.. I can't do this on my own. Be my strength. Amen.