basically, over the past 6 or so months i've been going to church, going to all these christian things, listening to worship music...talking the talk as they say. but inside, i've been struggling like you don't know what. i haven't been living for God. i've been living for me. and can i tell you something? these 6 months have probably been the most miserable of my life. i've tried to get back on track, i've tried to pray and KNOW that someone has been listening..yet i've still felt like i'm talking to nothing. i've tried to read my bible and learn from it so that i can go out and put what i read into practice in my everyday living...yet i still dive into the scriptures with my philosophical + theological glasses on, analysing everything from an academic point of view, rather than reading it simply because it is the pure Word of God. i've tried to get up sunday by sunday and worship at the front of my church in the band...but i just couldn't. how could i lead other people in worship when my heart isn't in it at all? basically, i've been breaking the 2nd commandment (the one about worshiping idols) over and over and over again, without giving it a second thought. the only thing on my mind has been me, me, ME. i'm ashamed if it, and i'm so cross that i wasted so many months which could have been spent with my Jesus.
today, something pretty major happened in the life of one of my mates..something which will affect her forever. i haven't stopped thinking about it and through all her suffering, God has revealed things to me which i never thought i'd be able to grasp. i've decided to write this blog in the hope of sharing some of those things with you and hoping that you will be changed by them just like i have been. they are simple truths, but ones which i feel people really really need to get a hold of. these things have the potential to change lives, to restore hope and to heal the hurting. so don't write them off. read it, take it in, pray over it, allow God into the depths of your soul and let Him do His work in you.
often in those facebook quiz things, a common question is "what would you do if it was your last day on earth?" when i get asked that question, i'm always stumped. of course we like to say "i'd spend it with my friends and family" or something along those lines, but what would you do if it was ACTUALLY going to be your last day on earth? oh and whilst you're thinking about that...how can you be certain that today isn't your last day on earth?
because you're young and healthy?
because you still have so much more to do in life?
because people rely on you and you have to be here to look after them?
nonsense. you don't know when you might go.
that's the reality of it all. today could be your last day. no, no, no. rewind. read it again and really take it in this time.
today could be your last day.
so would you live your last day getting up in the morning all grouchy and shouting at your parents because you stayed up too late last night and are wrecked? would you live your last day gossiping about "weirdos" you know? would you live your last day lying on your ass watching TV and eating junk food? would you keep going to a mirror worrying about your appearance and re-applying makeup? would you watch porn? would you swear? would you drink? would you make fun of people?
i don't think so.
so if today might be your last day...why are you wasting your time doing all that stuff?
do you not want to live out your God given potential? do you not want to MAKE A DIFFERENCE in the world instead of just 'fitting in'?
in the grand scheme of things, all the stuff we are convinced that we need are just bits of dust. it says in the bible that grass dries up and flowers wither away but that God goes on forever. so when you think of that phrase...does money matter? in essence, money is just a bit of paper. will it be coming with you when you get judged by God? nope. worried about getting the approval of others? in the long run, will their opinions of you really affect the way that God sees you? nope. no way. appearance doesn't matter, traditions don't matter, intelligence doesn't matter, fame doesn't matter, power doesn't matter.
what matters is...are you doing what Jesus wants you to do? are you living out His word? are you loving and caring and praying for others and using your gifts and giving generously? and if you aren't a christian...are you saved? do you know Jesus can forgive you for all that stuff you did and give you REAL freedom from all that crap you're really struggling to deal with right now? give it to Him, let Him take it. He will hold you in His arms and never let you go. He will love you with a love like you have NEVER experienced before. He will make you whole again.
GOD, CHANGE US into people who don't have any sort of desire to be comfortable or to fit in! EMPOWER US to say no when we have to.
EMPOWER us to say yes to You and Your will - even when it is the hardest option.
give us the wisdom to realise that we could be living in our last moments at any moment.
AMEN.
