starbucks with a friend..

just back from starbucks with a mate..she always gets me thinking about things..

things are very confusing atm, especially where God is concerned. alot of christians make the God thing look really easy, but it really isnt easy at all. its so hard to just listen to Him and to do what He wants instead of what you want. the things that He wants you to do are harder, yet they will be better in the long term. but because we cant see the bigger picture, its so hard for us to do what He wants. 

anyways, i was at lurgan elim last night (it was very good btw, you should go there someday) and the wee pastor dude was talking about plans. ive heard the plans talk before, but it was just good to have it refreshed. ive just got my AS results, and recently ive been thinking so much about the future - trying to plan out my life for the next few years - what uni i'll go to, what course i'll do, what jobs i can get with those qualifications, where i'll live, who i'll be with...my mind has just been overloaded with plans these days. sometimes, when things dont go my way i get scared, cause then its possible that my plans just wont work out. but who am i to plan my life? is it even my life to plan? i belong to God - i am property of Jesus Christ. So why am i making myself boss over my entire life? i dont know whats coming, i dont know if ill still be on this planet in the next 10 minutes. i dont know if i'll be here tomorrow, i dont know if i'll be here in 5 or 10 years time. so why am i wasting my time making plans? perhaps the time i spend making plans is time wasted. what if God is sitting on His throne yelling at me to just stop and live for today instead of for the future? today, the present, it's totally filled to the brim with opportunities! why am i wasting opportunities by making a 10 year life plan when i could be living in the now, soaking up everything that God has for me this very second? yeah, i have lots of dreams. i love dreaming big! but as for this whole plans thing, im just gonna take life as it comes. Jesus knows whats coming and i dont, so maybe its just better allowing him to be in control of me. 

guess who's back?

well im back from america!

it was possibly the most amazing experience of my life so far...people keep asking me how it was or what i did there...but its sooo hard to answer those questions! i made loads of new mates, went on class trips, learned loads and God even gave me a few more dreams :) if you want specifics then ask me specific questions :)

i feel like i should be elaborating more, but i cant really right now, im just really tired these days! and i couldnt be bothered typing all my thoughts down here, there are far too many right now! it'd take ages to type them all...

anyways, theres an update. 

life, viva la vida or death and all his friends..a coldplay blog

i feel like writing a blog, but i have no clue what to write about! lol

okay...err

ohh okay. hows about this: i AM SO HAPPY :) lol...here's a list why

1. GOD (!)
2. the boy
3. america
4. coldplay
5. kidneys

i guess i should explain why i put kidneys down on the list lol. havent been feelin well for weeks now, but on friday night it really kicked off. i was soo scared about going to the docs, and scared that it wouldnt be a diagnosable thing, that i would just have to stick it out both here and in america :s but it is a kidney thing! and i got tablets! and its getting better :) yeoooo!

the coldplay album is out of this world. a friend told me last night that all coldplays stuff sounds the same. no flippin way! have you heard viva la vida?! its the most amazing thing ever lol. possibly my favourite one of their albums yet...well it and parachutes. i love parachutes. what an amazing first album like! okay heres the list right now. i guess this will have to be updated once ive listened to viva la vida for a while...

1. viva la vida or death and all his friends
2. parachutes
3. X+Y
4. a rush of blood to the head

my favourite track on the album is "death and all his friends". go check it out on youtube or something. that song makes me want to cry lol its such an emotional song. the piano bit with chris and the wee bit of electric guitar in the background creates a gorgeous atmosphere. the melody of that wee start section is beautiful. i could listen to it all day lol. and then when it leads into a wee rocky bit, with an awesome bass line, which just makes you want to dance! and then after that, there is a really beautiful coldplay-esque section, with that really clean sound that was so prevailent on X+Y. the track ends with an extract from the first track on the album - life in technicolor. i dont particularly like this bit in comparison with the rest of the track, but i feel that it creates a lovely ending to the album. playing the album as it is without skipping tracks or fast forwarding or anything, it reminds me of an oratorio. dont ask why, it just does lol. if it were to be performed in that way, as a big musical work, i think the ending part on death and all his friends would be perfect to round off the performance. the album itself is so varied, and is quite unlike any of coldplays previous songs. thats what i think anyways. for those of you who might have stumbled across this and have heard viva la vida, give me your opinion!

anyways, thats my wee musical rant over lol. i have more thoughts to process on the album, so ill probably be back with some sort of opinion on different songs.

goodbye!

stuff

well i havent posted a blog in a while so i thought i would :)

the strangest thing happened yesterday...i sat in my living room last night and watched 20 minutes of "the greatest movie love songs of all time" on The Hits. more than that though, i liked it :s i even went onto itunes and bought one of the songs ("There you'll be" - Faith Hill). whats wrong with me?! a while back i wouldnt touch love songs with a 10 foot pole! oh well, maybe it's just a phase

exams exams exams...they suckk! ive got through 2 so far, and they went okay! ill just have to wait until the results come back i guess :s yikes! well i have 3 more to go - RE, and 2 ICT exams. not so bad, considering some people have about 6 still to go! dropping english was the best decision i have ever made lol

Church...yesterday i thought it was great, the worship for me was very intimate. i guess its gonna be different for everybody, but that was my take on yesterday anyways. Colin preached a killer sermon again, and (again) it felt like he was just sitting talking to me one on one in a room! God is using that man something serious, and it's class!

AMERICA! i cant wait. i seriously cant wait. although im gonna miss the northern irish weather (yes i said it lol...im soo scared that i wont be able to stick the heat in america!) and im gonna miss TSYB and church and my house and my room and stuart..i guess to a certain extent ill miss my family too, but then again i have never been away for a whole month so ill probably miss them more than anything lol. this is my first proper holiday - ill be away for the longest time ive ever been, and ill be the furthest away i have ever been too. me and my host teen ali are getting on really well, she reminds me of me a bit and her family seem really cool. thats one of the things im most looking forward to - getting to know ali better :) oh and i cant wait for the plane journey, i love flying soo much..but apparently 8 hours in a plane gets boring lol. i think ill manage fine, ill have my ipod with the best music ever on it. thats all i need to get through 8 hours of boredom lol

anyways, i had better go, i think the simple life is coming on soon :) whooooo

havent typed a blog in a while

To be honest, life these days is pretty boring. Well there’s a lot going on…exams, revision, coursework…all that jazz, and then there’s church stuff too. It’s more exciting, but the exams etc are kind of distracting my attention to say the least. There’s personal stuff going on too, but I can’t mention it on this lol! So, I send my apologies to all you nosey people out there =) I’m starting to realise the importance of centering everything on Christ. I have made a few slip ups recently, and when I go to slip up more, I just say to myself “ahh its okay, you aren’t doing anybody any harm, just go for it” and then I listen to myself without hearing the whisper of God and obeying His voice. There’s nothing like guilt to trip you up though lol, and since I have tripped, Christ is being put at the centre. It’s not easy with so much temptation and distraction around, but I’m working on it. It will be worth it in the end =)

All this work and stuff is quite exhausting to say the least, so I’m relying fully upon the strength of Christ. It’s quite strange, cause in a good day, we don’t rely on His strength…it always seems to be when something is bugging us, or when we’re tired or weak…I wonder what a good day would turn out like if we relied on His strength instead of our own? Might be an even better day =)

Well I had better be off

That’s all folks

brief update

my mum is married :D yesss

yesterday = great day. really great day.

mum + tom are coming back today from the honeymoon! so i needa tidy the house...its slightly messy...

thomas street is improving i think, but keep praying

grandma is doing really well. shes nearly ready to enter strictly come dancing!

i must go tidy the house...

byee x

WHOOOO...nooo....WHOOOO....nooo...

today has had its ups and downs i guess. pretty major ups and downs though.
keep Thomas Street in your prayers. i cant say much, but there's one heck of a major battle going on...your prayers would be appreciated so so much. thankyou!!

aside from a massively humongous workload, im really happy. mum is getting married next thursday, im going to be home alone for 5 days (yesss!) and the best thing ever...i met my step brothers today : ) they are class. really lovely guys. its so exciting to see my wee family grow! they are in their 20s and live in belfast, and we had so much fun tonight! cant wait to get to know them better and stuff : ) yeoooo i have 2 big brothers! its great : )

some things..

first thing on my mind is...never ever ever treat someone who works in a wee shop or in a wee restaurant or cafe or something like a piece of dirt. some guy rang me up tonight and i tried to explain what went wrong but he wouldnt let me get a word in edgeways cause he was shouting over everything i tried to say. then he called me a stupid f***ing female dog and slammed down the phone. i know he was probably taking out the anger he had at something else out on me cause im a kind of easy target, but still, theres no need for stuff like that. its just horrible. rant number one over.

rant number two...well it isnt really a rant i guess...it has the potential to be a rant but i dont want to give satan the glory. since i got this calling thing from God, it seems like everything has just turned topsy turvy...but im gonna continue walking hand in hand with my Jesus, laughing with him at the fact that satan thinks he can win...loser...

wow im tired...might hit the sack.

whoever reads this, could you do me a wee favour? my grandma is going into hospital on monday to get a hip replacement on tuesday...so could you pray for the doctors and nurses and that my grandma will come through the op and that it will be a success? thankyou...God bless

calling

Do you ever feel like you're being called to higher places?

i feel like that right now, and jeepers, i'm terrified :s

God placed this real heavy burden on my heart, every time i think about it it makes me want to weep. I have spent the past couple of days testing whether it was of Him or not, and i got it confirmed time and time again that it is a total God thing.

I know God is bigger than anything and that He can do anything and that i can do anything through Him, but i'm only human and it still seems pretty daunting :s at least i know for sure that i have the creator of the universe by my side.

before i go into this though theres lots of things i need to sort out like forgiving people, and other stuff that i just need to lay down at the foot of the cross. i need God to heal the hurt from the past. that isn't going to go away in a day or a week or a month. that healing process is gonna take a while, but i think i'm ready to do it. in the book im reading it says that stuff like bitterness and anger etc can hold us back from completing tasks God gives us. well i dont want anything to hold me back. so im gonna try and do whatever it takes to get rid of this hurt and anger and bitterness inside of me. God wants me to do this, so im gonna do my very best for Him. even if it hurts.

it probably will...

hmm

i really feel like typing up a blog...but i dont know what to say!

theres not much you can say after a night like sunday night :)

God answers prayer. well theres a start! no but seriously, we have prayed for this for so long, generations have prayed before us that the fire in thomas street would be re-ignited...and its happening. its actually happening. its so hard to grasp it though. cause we have wanted it for so long and we saw a tiny glimpse of Gods face, its hard to believe that it happened. but it did! and its gonna keep on happening.

i am certain of that.

one thing im afraid of though is people losing the vision throughout the year. i know there are so many more hard times to come...were probably gonna have to fight like we have never fought before this year. and its gonna hurt, and its gonna be unbearable at times, but oh man, i cant wait to see the finished results. its going to be worth it. everything is going to be worth it. i cant wait to see the day when i can walk into that church and watch people get into totally pride-less, undignified worship...i cant wait to see people getting healed...to see God work in peoples lives, to see thomas street be effective in working in the community. i cant wait to see peoples gifts being released and being used totally for Gods glory :D

nigel told me on sunday that thomas street was set up because of the 1859 revival in ulster...imagine what the people back then would say if they saw our worship now? but its gonna be revived again....yeooooo im totally certain! its not an "if"...its a "when" :D

church

just back from church...

it was the most amazing service i have ever been to in my entire life....EVER. that includes stuff like resonate, summer madness, autumn soul...it was just amazing.

there is nothing like seeing a wee bit of your dream come true :)

THE SPIRIT MOVED.

THE SPIRIT IS ON THE MOVE.

and guess what!? nothing, and i mean nothing, is gonna get in its way.

thomas street is changing. its been a slow couple of years, and we have stumbled so many times...but it has been oh so worth it! we are in a place now where people are willing to change...and im not talking about getting powerpoint installed, or anything silly like that. im talking about people being open to the Spirit. its happening. its actually happening...and people are starting to believe that its happening. its unreal. actually unreal.

im just jumping up and down inside! i dont think ill be able to concentrate at school tomorrow...it will be far too hard. im God on the brain, God in the soul, God everywhere and i dont think thats gonna go away anytime soon :)

i feel a bit weird though...ill have to explain sometime, but now is not the night. the Spirit is on the move!!

new year

well, it doesnt actually feel like it, but its finally 2008. Kinda hard to believe to be honest... this year has totally flown for me! so much stuff has happened. especially within thomas street. i dunno...2008...its gonna be a new start for our church. for sure. yesterday was so good. we had a prayer and fasting thing in church from 8am to 8pm (eddie decided to call it "82880"...ill be very impressed if you can work that one out lol) and God totally moved in that place. ive never really fasted before, and to be honest, i didnt think it would have much of an effect, but it was so amazing. it was unlike anything ive ever experienced before. we were crying out to God to come and unite the church, to send revival...we were pleading the Holy Spirit to come and dwell in the church, to move in the hearts of the people of thomas street and portadown...we cried out to Jesus, begging Him to heal, begging Him to help us to love, begging Him for forgiveness. theres something about praying when you havent eaten...its like...the brokenness i have for thomas street, it was made into a physical thing if you get me. it made the praying more intense, more real. it made me pray harder. it made me pray like i have never prayed before. yesterday, my eyes were opened to the potential that every single person on this planet holds. we had a non christian lady come in and ask to be prayed for...we had a non christian guy who doesnt have any time for church or God come in and give us a jar of coffee...we prayed for more people to come into church to volunteer to do stuff, then eddie gets a phone call from a lady who wants to come and help at youth club...he hadnt talked to that lady in ages. she just came. People belonging to Thomas street and other churches just turned up and we all prayed with them...there were tears of gratefulness, and tears of assurance that God was with them and would get them through certain situations.there were so many mini miracles yesterday. God blessed us again and again and again. His presence in that church was so tangible. it was such an aazing way to round off 2007 and to bring in 2008. i have this really excited feeling about 2008. i get shivers everytime i think about what God could do. i really think my church needs to pray more though. without prayer, nothing will be accomplished. we need Gods strength. thomas street is in dire need of the Holy Spirit. we need a mighty move of the Spirit. cause thats the only way things are gonna change. thats the only way that the church can lose their pride in worship and become totally undignified. one thing is for sure though...revival is coming. God is gonna explode into peoples lives...and the church is gonna be revived, towns are gonna be revived, cities are gonna be revived....and the next thing we know it, the whole of ireland will be revived. thats my dream for 2008. its a pretty big dream, but God is bigger :) how could i live for anyone else?! how could i go through this life without Jesus? what would i have to live for?...nothing. thats what. at the start of "82880" yesterday, eddie asked us two questions. 1. what are your top 3 dreams for 2008? and 2. what were your top 3 highlights of 2007? well ive basically typed out my dreams...so ill give you my highlights of 2007 1. mum and tom getting engaged - self explanitory 2. summer madness - because God started really really breaking me for the poor and the hurting and the lost. He spoke to me about my money, and how i should give more of it away. summer madness changed my outlook on life, and on how i choose to live my life...and how my choices can have a great impact on the worlds poorest. 3. becoming closer to God - this was a more general highlight. i didnt wake up one day and just suddenly feel closer to God than ever before lol. it took time, and it took prayer, it took uncomfortable questions, it took addressing issues that i had shoved to the back of my mind and allowing God to heal the hurt, it took patience. but oh man, it was totally worth it. every set of tears, every sick feeling in my stomach, every doubt, every struggle...it was all worth it. im hungry for more. im more hungry than i have ever ever been before...and God has totally transformed me in one year. but it took severe perserverence. if you feel like you cant keep going with the God thing, dont give up. never ever ever give up. keep at it! God is working in you, even in your struggles.

God i thankyou for 2007. What an amazing year! Keep filling us with dreams...and if we think they are too big to be accomplished, or too small to be even considered, then tell us to wise up...cause you are bigger than anything. YOU and You alone can accomplish anything. i thankyou for that! Keep pouring on the blessings in 2008. Lord, make this the year of change. make this the year of growth...come Holy Spirit, revive us again. empower us for the plans God has for us. God reveal those plans to us. let us not be distracted by things in this world, but keep our eyes focused on You. help us to distinguish between Your voice and our voice. let us hear Your voice in 2008! in Jesus holy and mighty name, Amen (let it be.) xo