Ok so im really really missing bebo....its so weird cause i keep trying to find a substitute for it...like myspace....i set up a myspace account in the summer and i hated it...well i went on again a few days ago and i tried to like it...but it just didnt work :( ...i dunno about you but i keep getting these emails saying "Bob has tagged you :)" .....yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever...but the other day i actually clicked on it and set up a Tagged account....as with myspace, i tried to like it but bleh...it didnt work for me....
its just so sad what we all waste our time on....like msn...ok its good for the occasional chat but sometimes i stay on for hours just watching people come online and go offline (sad i know)....it has, i believe, ruined my ability to hold down a decent conversation with people face to face. I say things on msn i couldnt say in real life simply because it feels more comfortable. But yeah, i was having a convo with someone a week ago or something and they asked me why i was doing the whole going off bebo for lent thing, so i told them it was like a sacrifice for Jesus...it would allow me to spend more time reading the bible and praying...then they said...."well i dont see you reading your bible now!" valid point lol! it got me thinking....what would life be like without modern technology....without computers and ipods and mobiles and tv and stuff....i reckon we would all be so much happier....especially spiritually. How much time would we spend with God?! It would be so unreal! How much stronger would our faith be? How many more healings would we witness? How many more visions would be seen? How many more lives would be transformed? Its kind of like technology is satans very sly and subtle way of bringing us away from God....yes, so we may be listening to Christian music on our ipods or looking at a christian bebo page or even watching the God channel....but do those things really bring us closer to God? The only way to get close to God is to spend time with Him. If we watch a home video with our parents in it, are we in any way strengthening our relationship with them? Yes, so we may be learning things, but are we talking to them and getting to know them better?
I know I get caught up with Christian stuff...theres no denying that the faith mission bookshop is my favourite shop in the whole world (especially the big ones in belfast and that cool one in lisburn ;-) ) but should we not focus on worshipping God and praying to Him and just allowing Him to take pole position in our lives? Thats such a hard thing to do....its so hard to give everything over to God...sometimes we want to so badly and we actually sing songs like "im giving you my heart and all that is within i lay it all down, for the sake of you my king...im giving you my dreams im laying down my rights, im giving up my pride for the promise of new life...and i surrender all to you, all to you..." we so want to surrender all but we just arent ready yet...ive told God to take it all in my life...but there are still some things that im grabbing onto with both hands...i really need to let them go...I love God so much....I dont know what i would do without him in my life but seriously...now i find it hard to sing that song in particular because i know that im really not surrendering it all...just the things i want to give to God like problems i dont want to sort out and stressful stuff at school....im not giving Him the good things, the things i like....like relationships and hobbies....i guess im scared of God being in control....what if he takes away people from me? What if i cant control my relationships with people because He is in control? I need to give Him everything....im working on it....its so hard. We sing songs and pray prayers without even thinking about the meaning, when, in fact, they are downright scary and so tough.
I hope I can give my all to You soon, God...I want to be able to hand everything over to You....give me strength and courage and wisdom to do it. Let me know for sure when i'm ready, Lord. Thankyou so much for saving me...You are so awesome! Love You...Amen xo
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