to megan

last night at work, a certain best friend of mine told me to write a blog. so i thought i would.

things have been incredibly busy lately. i dont really know whether thats a good thing or a bad thing. its good having so much to do but sometimes it all gets a bit too much which is annoying. 

church is changing...in the next few months things wont be easy, its gona be weird having a new minister and having some people leave, but God is in it all. He has it all in His hands. weird thing is though, that despite all these changes and all the bad stuff thats happened/happening, i reckon God is at work in that place more than ever. there was alot of hype last year about what was gonna happen last year, but maybe God didnt want the hype. maybe he was waiting for us to come with raw hearts, broken and tired before He could do what He really wanted to do. i feel like alot of people are growing in the faith and i feel like there are some people who are just on the brink of coming to Christ. theres a certain triumphant feeling in my church right now. i dont quite know what it is, but i do know that even though some people think we have lost the battle, its still going on, and there are still people fighting with Christ in their hearts and Christ by their sides. yano what? we're winning. 

every single day is a battle against evil. evil comes at you from every side, evil comes at me from every side. i try to fight evil myself and i lose. ha, i wonder why?! we always forget the immense power that our awesome God has. more than that though, we always forget that we can use that power. God is always there to rescue us from the crap that makes us stumble and fall.

i found these verses the other day, and i think they will strike a chord with everyone who reads this. they struck a chord with me, i can so identify with these words!

Romans 7:14-25 (the message): 

"Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

 17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
 21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
 24I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
 25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."

Christ can save us from making bad decisions. He has the power! im gona try and just leave everything in His hands. when i fight by myself i dont have the power or the strength to pull myself through. 
God take me. when i dont have the power to resist sin, whisper in my ear, tell me i can do it. give me the strength and the willpower to walk away from whatever is about to pull me in. Holy Spirit, guide me, Jesus forgive me, Father love me. empower me to make the right decisions. in Your name i pray, amen.