I'm with stupid.

I don't like feeling stupid. In fact, I don't think anyone does. There have been many times when I've felt so stupid I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole...in my Greek/Hebrew classes (I knew nothing!), in a job interview where I was so nervous I just gave the most ridiculous answers (interviewer: 'so, when would you not be allowed to serve someone alcohol?' me: 'ummm...when they're pregnant?'), leading worship on Sunday morning in church when I played my guitar in the wrong key and had to stop the entire church singing (by yelling "STOOOPPPP!!" and waving my arms around like a lunatic) so I could fix my mistake...the list goes on and on. I think everybody feels stupid on at least a daily basis (or maybe it's just me?), and it can be for silly reasons, or it can be for slightly more embarrassing ones (the church incident being a prime example!). Either way, nobody really likes feeling stupid.

So where am I going with this? Basically, I think that there's one area of life that I definitely should not have to feel stupid about. That area is my faith. I'm a Christian. I believe that Jesus died to save me (and the whole world). I believe that I've been forgiven and that my time on earth is a precious gift from God which I need to use to glorify and honour Him. A lot of the time, I fail miserably at being a Christian. I don't pretend to have it all sussed out, because I really don't. I've made loads of mistakes (some really bad ones :/) and a lot of the time, my head is rammed full of questions which cause me to doubt. But you know what, in the midst of it all I know two things: 1. that I am loved by God and 2. that I love Him. I have weighed up the evidence against believing in God so, so many times (sometimes for academic study, sometimes because I'm doubting!), and I have come to the same conclusion every time: God exists. Not only does He exist, but He is active in the world and desires to have a relationship with us. If I've come to those conclusions, should I have to feel stupid? Should I have to feel a little awkward when someone asks me if I'm religious and I look at my shoes and mumble "I'm a Christian"? I don't want to be someone who apologises for believing in God despite the scientific evidence which screams that God doesn't exist. I guess though that attitudes towards Christianity will only change once people actually stop apologising for their faith. We need to speak up with authority (i.e. not wanting the ground to swallow us up) about what we believe in. Only then will attitudes shift.