random (?)

Okay...lots and lots of thoughts on my mind today...most of which I won't share on this thing for fear of being beaten lol.

I don't quite know where to start lol. Right, I'll begin with non-God stuff.

1) Knowledge. I have this huge desire to be really smart. I want to write stuff and be able to read it and think wow...did I really compose such a piece of work? I want to be able to think way way way outside the box..like a philosopher would. Okay, this all sounds so stupid but its what I'm thinking! lol

2) Music. This one really frustrates me. I want more musical skill! More and more and more and more until I can't hold still anymore..until all I can do is write worship songs and praise my Jesus all day. I want to be able to sing so bad. A good voice. Now that would be nice ; )

3) Intimacy. This all seems kinda impossible to me lol. This relationship with God. A friend was talking to me the other day about God talking to people. They said they had never really experienced that before. There I was, nodding away looking like I had all the answers (pride...not good!) when, in reality, being totally honest with myself, it hasn't really happened me either. I really admire people who can sit and pray for longer than 1/2 an hour without something else popping into their head and getting bored and stopping. They are the people who are closest to God. And I guess if i want total intimacy with JC then I'm gonna have to learn patience and self-control and to control my short attention span lol.

4) Summer Madness. I'm praying it doesn't rain. Seriously. But if it does, I'm not gonna let it ruin my time there. All my friends go on about how the rain is so incredibly cool and stuff and how we should thank God for it. I should be grateful for it but I'm not. In fact, I loathe the stuff. Really hate it. I hate the way your clothes get damp, the way your hair goes curly, the way your jeans get all wet at the bottom and when you take your shoes off your socks get soggy. So this is a big thing for me lol. Okay, you're laughing....

That'll do for now methinks.